Dear Donna,
by Kitten The Kokeshi Doll
Summary: ONE SHOT Who would've thought a simple advice column could lead to so much? ChaseZoey DanaLogan.


A/n: Okilydokily. After being assigned my school's Dear Donna, I decided to write a fanfic on it. Chase and Zoey (Of course) I haven't decided on anything else.

Cody: yeah, you still haven't decided what to do with me.

Oh yes I have. brandishes eraser do as yer told. Or else.

This is pretty teenage stuff, but I think it's okay.

Chapter 1: Dear Donna,

Zoey was reviewing the school paper.

"You know Zoey, I think you're the only person in the whole school who reads the paper… and that includes the editors." He added pointing at a spelling error on the headline. Chase Matthews was one of Zoey's best friends. It was obvious to anyone (apart from Zoey) that he had a huge crush on her, which was probably why he always sat with them. But with Chase came responsibilities, unpleasant ones at that. Logan Reese was one of those boys; flawless and he knew it. He tended to flaunt the fact he was good looking AND a star athlete… he boasted the catchphrase 'Wanna make out' He'd used it on both Zoey and Dana. (And both responses were of the similar nature. ('Ew!'))  
"What it needs," Zoey said sipping her cola. "Is a little spicing up." She flicked it. "Nobody cares about Dean Rivers' ex wife!" Logan snatched the paper from Zoey.  
"Gimme."  
"What the…"  
"Have you seen the former Mrs. Rivers?" He wolf whistled.  
"You have severe problems." Chase said, shaking his head. "You know that?"  
"Problems…" Zoey stood up and smiled. "Chase you're a genius!"  
"I am? I mean uh… yeah." He smiled then face faulted "Why am I a genius again?"  
"I'm starting a Dear Donna Column." She smiled broadly.

"What the heck is a Dear Donna Column?" Asked Quinn.  
"It's an advice column. For head cases like Logan to vent, so 'Donna' writes back a response, trying to help. Our 'Donna' is Zoey." Dustin explained pleased to know something Quinn didn't.  
"Why 'Donna'? it's so common." Commented Michael.  
"It has to begin with a 'd'" Nicole explained.  
"Why not Dear Dana, I'm sure I wouldn't mind a bit of one on one therapy with her." Logan said raising his eyebrows. Dana flicked one of Zoey's grapes at him. He caught it in his mouth and said,  
"See, we're madly in love already." Dana rolled her eyes.  
"Nicole, pens at the ready. Quinn you too." Quinn, Nicole and Dana all grabbed a sheet of paper.  
"Testing Zoey's skill, we each write a problem…. And Zoey's going to reply."  
"How come we don't get to go?" Asked Michael.  
"Because, as Donna, Zoey will be dealing with a predominantly female audience. It doesn't have to be a real problem you two, you can make it up." Dana instructed sucking the tip of her pen for inspiration. "And try to make it difficult."  
"We're going too." Said Logan grabbing a pen and four sheets of paper.

Zoey smiled. She had such wonderful friends.  
"Okay, so IntellectuallyStarved writes: Dear Donna, I find myself too superior in knowledge to get along with anyone in a sufficient relationship. I manage to scare all members of the opposite gender away by just being intelligent. Help?"  
"Quinn." Everyone said. Quinn blushed.  
"Okay, I'd recommend setting your standards a little lower. Try to compromise. Not everyone is fluent in techno-language and science isn't that much of a turn on. You need to 'dumb it down' around your friends and crushes, if you want to make it through PCA."  
"Harsh, but true." Chase said. Zoey picked another one randomnly.

"Dear Donna,  
I am afraid of almost all animals in the world (Especially evil psycho attacker dogs!) What do I do to keep them away from me?"  
"Dustin." Michael laughed. "Elvis isn't harmful."  
"Okay FearfulOfOlderSibling, I don't approve of the name but I'd recommend you try facing your fears with something small. Try a goldfish or something, low maintenance and minimal touching involved. You can gradually work your way up to dog level."  
"But Zoey…" Whined Dustin. "My goldfish bit me."  
"That was a piranha." Said Zoey taking another paper.

"Dear Donna,  
My room mate has two boys interested in her and I have nobody. Up until this morning I couldn't understand it…. I think I'm prettier than her…. But the fact remains that she's two whole bra sizes bigger than me. I have beauty, I know that. But she has brains and boobs. I can't compete. I don't know what I can do to compromise…. Should I use tissue?  
Signed: EnviousOfZoey" Logan was laughing his head off, Chase was very embarrassed and Michael was continuing to eat as though nothing had been said.  
"Oh er…" Zoey was a little embarrassed. She glanced at Nicole who was giggling and then at Dana, who was blow drying her nails.  
"Nobody should be made to feel insecure about their body. The fact that she's two sizes bigger than you doesn't mean that's why the boys are…. Wait a minute. What boys?" Zoey looked clueless. "Sorry, um…. Boys don't necessarily go for the outside, try perfecting the inside before drastically altering the outside."  
"Man what a bunch of…" Started Logan but Chase hit him.  
"Don't tell me that was your one!" Logan teased. Chase shook his head. Zoey picked another one.

"Dear Donna,  
Why am I so hot?  
Signed:…"  
"Logan!" A collective groan from the table.  
"What?" Logan looked perfectly innocent.  
"Okay, Donna recommends you get over yourself." Zoey said screwing up his sheet and throwing it at Logan.  
"I don't like you. Your advice stinks." Said Logan. "We should switch it to Dear Dana."  
"Dana has 'issues' of her own." Said Chase. "Uh… please don't hurt me?" He winced.

"Okay, So the person writes… Dear Donna my room mate is so bossy! He lazes around, never cleans, always leaves us to clean. What should I do?"  
"Okay Michael'sMadMate… I recommend you tell Logan to get off his lazy butt!" Zoey screwed up the sheet and threw it at Logan.  
"She so wants me!"  
"No seriously. Donna recommends you talk it out with your room mate. Either that or treat him to his own medicine." Zoey took another sheet from the two remaining ones.

"Dear Donna,  
My friend wants to start a Dear Donna column, I think it's a bad idea? How do I tell her?  
BeautifulInBlue." Zoey looked put out.  
"You think it's a bad idea?" She asked the table at random.  
"Kinda. Zoey, someone's going to get hurt." Nicole said. Logan burst out laughing.  
"What, Donna recommends… Logan! Stop laughing."  
"Sorry…" he apologised clutching his sides. "It's just if that one's Nicole's, the other was Dana's." Dana threw a handful of grapes at him.  
"Okay, maybe you should just tell your friend that Dear Donna isn't a good idea, and that she sucks at giving advice." Zoey flopped laying her head in her hands.

"Hey, you haven't read Chase's…" Commented Dustin. Chase made a grab for his paper. Dana snatched it."Don't mess with Dana Cruz." She warned. "That's for saying I have issues." She handed Zoey the letter. Chase turned Scarlet.  
"Dear Donna, I…" Zoey paused and scanned the note. "Is… is this true?" She asked him looking shocked. Nicole tried to get a look in and Zoey pulled it out of her sight. Chase gulped and nodded. Zoey stood up and walked to his chair.

"Donna recommends you stand up." She ordered. Chase reluctantly stood up. "Donna recommends you tell her whether it was true…"  
"yes." He said looking at his feet.  
"Well then. Donna's final recommendation is, that you look her square in the eye…. And kiss her." Chase looked up in shock. Was she serious? She dropped the note to the table. Logan opened it and read out loud.  
"Dear Donna, I have the hugest Crush on the cutest, funniest, kindest, most amazing girl in the world. Her name is Zoey Brooks. Love Chase." Zoey and Chase were at a stalemate, both refused to move.  
"Dear Donna's waiting." Said Dana.

"Shut up." Chase said. He looked at Zoey awkwardly. She sighed and sat down again feeling totally ridiculous. She closed her eyes to think for a moment when she suddenly felt Chase's lips on hers. She slid her hand up to his neck and stood back up to meet him. She pushed her hand into the back of his bushy hair and pulled him as close as possible, without being rough.  
"Get a room!" Said Logan as Zoey deepened the kiss, (Well, Chase was never going to do it… he's a wimp with the girls) Dana growled.  
"Hello! Can someone please pay attention to me?" She demanded.  
"I'll pay attention to ya." Said Logan draping his arm over Dana's shoulder. She smiled.  
"Perfect." She chirruped sarcastically.  
"How about I pay attention to you at the cinema tomorrow night?" He said huskily. Dana rolled her eyes.  
"Sure, whatever."

"Are you two still kissing?" Said Nicole uncovering her eyes cautiously.  
"I have a question." Said Dustin as the two broke apart. "Dear Donna, how do you breathe when you're french kissing?" He asked curiously.  
"You don't." Answered Nicole as though she knew.  
"Don't be stupid." Logan snapped at her.  
"You breathe through your nose." Zoey told her little brother. Chase took her seat. She pouted but he pulled her to sit on his lap.  
"Gross." Dustin said making gagging noises.  
"It's not gross." Dana said. "Infact, if it's with the right person…" She shot Logan a look here. "it's amazing… isn't it Donna?" Zoey laughed.

"Yeah, no matter how long you wait for him!" She punched Chase in his arm. Chase furrowed his eyebrows.  
"How long exactly were you waiting…"  
"Well, as soon as I got over my little thing for Logan…"  
"You had a thing for me?" Logan asked. "Where was I at this point… on mars?" Logan demanded.  
"No, you were busy insulting her." Said Dana, annoyed. Boy this boys attention shifted quickly.  
"Oh, right. Whatever. Hey you guys want to double date with me and Dana?" Logan asked.

The year is 2015. Zoey graduated four years ago. Her long time boyfriend Chase works with Logan who along with his on/off girlfriend, were their roommates, Zoey hated his job because it always kept him away from her, but he was constantly sneaking time off for her.

Sometimes he wrote her post-it notes, little things to make her feel special 'I love you' and 'You're gorgeous' things like that were flattering. Today there was an envelope on the fridge. At first Zoey thought it might be Dana, asking Zoey to pick something up for her. At 24 Dana was still as lazy as usual. Only she had a minor excuse, being heavily pregnant and all. The envelope was addressed 'Dear Donna' Zoey froze in her tracks. Who was Donna? Her heart skipped a beat. It was Chase's handwriting. Zoey snatched the letter and opened it.

"Dear Donna,  
Wow it's been a while since I wrote that to you, huh? Well, I suppose I should get to the point. Things have been a little awkward between me and my girlfriend lately…" Zoey wasn't sure she wanted to read anymore. She wanted to cry. She wanted Dana! Heck even Logan! Zoey made herself a cup of coffee before sitting down to read the rest of the letter.

"Dear Donna,  
Wow it's been a while since I wrote that to you, huh? Well, I suppose I should get to the point. Things have been a little awkward between me and my girlfriend lately. At first I was confused. I thought that maybe after 9 ½ years things had turned stale." Zoey started to sob. This wasn't fair! "Maybe we'd lost our spark." Zoey shuddered. No, she wouldn't believe it. "But then I started thinking. I still love her very much. Infact I've never loved her more."  
"Oh great!" Zoey mumbled. "Don't tell me, you're calling it off with this Donna girl because you finally realised you liked me best all along." She threw her coffee cup (Sans coffee) at the wall.  
"But now I'm rambling. I'm quitting my job, it's far too awkward, I love you more than anything in the world and this is a lot easier to write than it is to say: I suppose what I'm trying to ask is, will you marry me? XXChaseXx." Zoey screamed. NO!

When Dana got home, she found Zoey curled up on the sofa with her bags packed.  
"What's up with you?" She asked taking off her heels and rubbing her feet. Man were they swollen!  
"Chase is… Chase is seeing someone else." Dana laughed.  
"And when exactly would he have time to do this, when he's not here with you he's at work." She promised her friend.  
"Maybe she's from work." Zoey said hysterically. Dana sighed. "He's… he asked her to marry him." Dana's eyes widened as she read the letter Zoey threw at her. Chase and Logan walked in the door laughing about something. Logan crossed to his girlfriend and placed his hands on her waist. She pushed him away.  
"Who?" Zoey asked looking at her feet. "Who is she?"  
"Who's who?" Asked Logan curiously.  
"Donna." Zoey said. Logan looked puzzled. "I mean shouldn't I at least get to know your fiancee?" Logan face faulted and looked at Chase. Chase looked a little puzzled.

"Okay Zoey calm down, it's not what you think." He said calmly.  
"IT'S NOT WHAT I THINK?" Zoey screamed. "I FOUND A NOTE, TO DONNA, PROPOSING TO HER!" She screeched. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME IT'S NOT WHAT I THINK!" Logan sat Dana down on the sofa and stood to one side prepared to pull Zoey off if things got ugly, which with Zoey and Chase, wasn't a normality but…it could happen.  
"Zoey…" Zoey fell to her knees and looked at the floor. "I swear to god I…"  
"I don't want to hear what and when, I want to know 'why?'" Zoey said. "You said 'the sparks have gone' They didn't go for me!" Zoey said. "I missed you. You were out with some floozy and I missed you. Well fool on me!"  
"I thought the sparks had gone because you always seemed so distant!" Chase said angrily. "I'd come home at night and you wouldn't look at me." He crouched down to her level. "That hurt Zoey."  
"So you went out with this Donna girl, decided after what two three months that she was…"  
"Zoey, shut up! I've known Donna for 9 or 10 years."

"Oh great, just great." Zoey couldn't stop crying. Dana wanted to get up and hug her friend, but she knew Logan wouldn't be happy. "Chase Matthews, I never want to see you again!" She said. Chase stood up.  
"Then I guess you don't want this do you Donna?" He threw something at her.  
"Who the hell are you calling Donna?" She demanded.  
"Don't you remember?" he asked running his hand through his bushy brown hair, whatever reaction he'd been expecting from Zoey, this wasn't it. "God you really are a dumb blonde." Zoey sighed. "Remember how we got together?"  
"Not exactly…" She admitted. "But what does…"  
"I'll refresh your memory." He told her. "You started a Dear Donna column. I wrote to you telling you how much I fancied you." Zoey looked a little confused. "You gladly accepted." Zoey looked awkward. Chase bent down and handed her the box that he'd thrown at her.

"Will you marry me?" Logan sighed.  
"I went with him to pick the ring. He's serious." He assured her. Zoey gasped as Chase opened the box. "No more Dear Donna." He promised her.  
"Boy would this make for a story," Dana whispered. "Zoey was jealous of Zoey."  
"Well, are you going to leave me hanging?" Chase asked softly caressing her cheek and brushing away a tear.  
"You jerk you had me so worried!" She said. She sniffed and held out her left hand. "Yes, of course I'll marry you." Chase smiled and slid the ring onto her finger standing Zoey up delicately.  
"You do enjoy making my life difficult Zoey." He whispered kissing his fiancee in a way he hadn't done for a fair few months.

"Like you'd have it any other way." Logan laughed.

A/n: Nice and Soppy. Please review? Please?


End file.
